Institute for the Study of Pointless Metrics

Institute Policy

Terms of Use

§1Acceptance

Your continued use of the Institute's properties, instruments, or credentials constitutes acceptance of these terms in the form most recently published.

§2Definitions

"Finding" means a correlation the Institute has published. "Instrument" means a physical object issued by the Institute. "Engagement" means any billable interaction with Institute staff in excess of fifteen minutes.

§3Commerce

Purchases are final. Refunds are notional. Digital goods are deemed delivered at the moment of checkout.

§4Acceptable Use of Reusable and Non-Reusable Instruments

The Vibe Ring, Synergy Obelisk, Tarnishing Plaque, and Ambient Mood Barometer may be used in any commercial, residential, or contemplative setting. They may not be used competitively against other Institute products without written consent.

§5Use of the Pocket Ruler for Intangibles

The Pocket Ruler is calibrated for measurements of gravitas, vibe, optionality, runway, and warmth. Any other use voids the warranty and any claims arising from such use.

§6Credentialing

The Certified Pointless Metrics Practitioner™ credential is non-transferable, non-stackable, and not accredited. The Institute retains the right to revoke any credential for cause, or without cause, or in error.

§7Advisory Engagements

All advisory engagements are governed by a separate engagement letter drafted by the Institute. The letter supersedes these terms to the extent of any conflict, unless the conflict is of research interest.

§8Credential Revocation Procedures

Credentials may be revoked by the Dean of the Practitioner Program at any time. Revoked practitioners may appeal in writing. Appeals are reviewed on the same first-Thursday-of-each-quarter schedule as all Institute correspondence.

§9Warranty

Instruments are warranted for the life of the Institute, minus any period during which the Institute is in reorganization.

§10Limitation of Liability

The Institute's liability is limited to the purchase price of the instrument or service at issue. Findings, being non-causal, carry no liability whatsoever.

§11Disputes Regarding Posthumously-Assigned r-Values

Any dispute regarding an r-value assigned to a Certified Measured™ Wall Plaque after the recipient's death shall be resolved by the recipient's estate in consultation with the Institute's internal review board.

These terms are current as of the last internal committee meeting at which terms were discussed.